let's do all those things you said.

[subjective]

just got home from the mirah show in yumi's basement. very sweet. i could've told her what the murphy bed song makes me think of but it might have made everyone blush.

i've been thinking about my proposed grad school project & getting so excited about it. a few days ago i wrote a sort of outline & when i reread it, i realized that even if i don't get accepted to any of the programs, i still want to do this research because i think it's important & i'm really enthusiastic about it. like when i read my outline i feel like i just want to drop everything & start working on the project. yeah.

also i was reading an article a few days ago by someone who is my current secret brain-crush, about trans bodies & self-determination & medicine, & i realized how, um, unsettling it is to go to a therapist for transition purposes (medical or not), basically in hopes (?) that you will be diagnosed with a mental disorder, so you can have the go-ahead to get on with your life & do certain things. or maybe that's just how i feel. i wonder if subconsciously this is part of what is holding me back from making a therapy appointment.

i've been really into looking at amazon wishlists lately, even though i hate amazon. also i like the gilmore girls, there i said it. the spinanes are totally my favorite band of this year. if you'd been at the mirah show tonight you would know that it is possible to update someone on your life by talking only about ice cream flavors.