you love to fail, that's all you love.

[subjective]

recently:

tension at work, to say the least. it's anyone's guess these days. i said a lot of stuff really forthrightly on friday, & i feel good about it. turns out i can speak up & verbally critique in an articulate & passionate way, when i really need to.

up & down over the weekend. the downs were really down. today feels better.

revisiting my undergraduate thesis to pull a writing sample for graduate applications is a weird feeling. that was four years ago. i read emails from the college years too. things change, man. i loved finding the emails from yvette about when she first got frieda & ender. aww, baby frieda = black & white poofball.

i have a lot of shit to do over the next month or so. i made a list tonight so as not to be too overwhelmed. i might have to postpone the new volunteering stint until i finish these applications.

who can tell me about a reliable free email account other than hotmail or yahoo? emphasis on reliable.

next week is the trans day of remembrance & i'm feeling weird about it. i want to hand-make a flyer that talks about my feelings on vigils. but i don't want to detract from the event itself.

reading james baldwin's giovanni's room. listening to the spinanes, nick drake, early magnetic fields, mirah. eating more green things please.

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warning: giovanni's room can get really sad in parts. make sure you're prepared. for me it would be a totally read-at-home-only book 'cause i hate crying in public. but that's just me.