remember to breathe.

i just cannot think what to write here lately.

five bad things.
one: inability to schedule things, for various reasons, today especially. i hate last-minute plans.

two: inability to successfully navigate group dynamics, pretty much across the board. when i start feeling anxious or stupid or just like i'm struggling to connect with people, i give up, then feel bad for ditching friends with no explanation. surely this will pass.

three: missing the effing bus this morning & waiting 20 minutes for the next one, which was so crammed with people that i had to stand in the stairwell next to the driver & de-board at every stop so others could get on & off without trampling me. result: late to work.

four: crying at the drop of a hat this past week or two. i would like to have some other response to stress/nerves/relief/worry please.

five: how can it already be time for laura to leave?

five good things.
one: satisfying one-on-one conversations with various people. all is not lost.

two: i'm working on a new issue of stc & the writing is finally starting to fall into place. i can't tell if this one will be fairly short or fucking long.

three: there is a splitzine in the works & it might be called "riles & tobes take over the world!" or it might be called "the life & times of jim varney." but only if riley drugs me.

four: enough people to listen to me go on & on about gender stuff & never tell me it's getting old & always being really rock-steady.

five: vacation, all i ever wanted.