my wagner in dungarees.

[subjective]

i am so excited about grad school & having the time/resources/guidance to work on this research. for reals, i think about it & i get all squirmy.

two programs are super exciting & promising.
two are less so.
one remains a wildcard, to be better determined after a few meetings in a week & a half.

at the risk of sounding pompous: i'm a little worried about getting to school & discovering that my ideals/politics (or at least the politics i strive for) are more radical/complicated than those of the people mentoring me. and after a phone conversation with a prof yesterday, i'm more than little worried about having to educate on trans politics, like all the time in whatever program i'm in. and like, starting at the very beginning. like, with what basic language to use. i need to resign myself to this immediately, huh.

i live in a bubble right now. my friends rock so hard. i love you.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yes. Resign yourself immediately. Your politics are going to be more radical and complicated than those of 95% of the people you come across outside of your current community. That doesn't make us non-radical, noncomplicated folks bad or stupid people...and not everyone's going to take well to being educated by you, or particularly feel that they NEED to be. But, as you know, historically my attitude to people like that is, so what, screw 'em, let me get on with what I was doing.
It makes me happy to read about your enthusiasm for this. And I'm very much looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.
Love, jeannette

[lionpluslamb.livejournal.com]

Dude, hurrah to both of us for grad school excitement!

And yeah, ditto on the other stuff. Sometimes I worry about getting myself stuck in this whole thing from being afraid to deal with less educated people. But as far as school goes, I'm sure that even if you have to educate people about certain things, you can still find things to learn from them about others, you know? Everyone potentially has something to teach you, but I know you know that already. <3

[oblivionjen.livejournal.com]

this comment will not include constructive or reflective thoughts as i am currently frying my brain over this stupid cixous / mulvey paper. i just wanted to say that your enthusiasm is amazing and a bit contagious and that you never cease to amaze me with the way you tackle this stuff. i think that you're wise to fear that there will be lots of educating to do and politics to radicalize, but i also think that you will find space and people who will make that an easy and maybe even exciting process. you radiate positive energy and the kind of people who will be attracted by that are not the people who will be fucked up on trans stuff. perhaps i am being overly idealistic and naive, but i think that it will be okay. and that the space you are in will include people who, if they know nothing, will be open to the project of learning. and who, if you care enough to teach them, will probably do much of the work themselves.

and plus i love you tons. :**

[adrienmundi]

While your perspective may be less well understood by those in your academic circles, that's not the whole of your life. While it'd be amazingly great if your "peers" shared your interests and how they applied to the collective field of study, I'm not sure I'd expect it. That doesn't mean it's incumbent on you to educate them; I still think that's a choice (one I'm often less than enthusiatic about facing myself).

However, if you do find open minded, radical peerage, I will be incredibly, visibly green with envy. Good luck!

[slanderous.livejournal.com]

It's not unusual to find yourself in this position of having a different (let alone more "radical/complicated") political or theoretical framework from your professors and your peers, especially in the programs you've applied to. (And as demonstrated by the Meridians conference.) Some of the programs will be better than others, though, in terms of knowing what's the what. I have nothing insightful to say right now, though, because my brain is so, so tired.

xo Mimi

[redrider.livejournal.com]

I don't think this sounds pompous (tho I think what you've said later about us/them dichotomies is smart); I think it's good to combine some of your v. realistic expectations with enthusiasm about what these programs may have to offer you.

Also: would you mind posting me (via e-mail) your mailing address? I have something to send to you. Me = redrider@livejournal.com.

xoxo a.